My Spiritual Journey


Coming from a secular agnostic family background, I have been an atheistic materialist and naturalist for most of my life until my late thirties, and was only interested in nature and natural sciences. Due to my interest in modern physics (cosmology, relativity theory, and quantum mechanics) I came to realize fundamental philosophical problems concerning time, causality, and the effectiveness of mathematics, as well as the hard problem of consciousness, the problem to explain intentionality and reason, as well as objective morality. This led to a spiritual journey over about 15 years in search for a coherent world view involving temporary commitments to very different views like mathematical monism (Max Tegmark), pantheistic neopaganism, non-dualism (Advaita Vedanta) and neoperennial integral thought (Ken Wilber), Whiteheadian panentheistic process thought, Nietzschean flux, quantum mysticism with monistic idealism (Amit Goswami), Neoplatonism with objective idealism (John Leslie), deism, and finally a generic philosophical / classical theism. After some time of denominational confusion (I thoroughly evaluated the pro and con arguments for Christianity, esp. Roman Catholic and Reformed theology, as well as Biblical exegesis and history) I settled for Roman Catholic Christianity with Thomism as metaphysics. My conversion did not involve any prior faith in scripture, but was based on reason and a careful and critical evaluation of empirical evidence as well as philosophical arguments. Nevertheless, I now consider my spiritual journey as guided by the Holy Spirit and purely due to the Grace of God. I still strive and struggle to become a more humble and better follower of our Lord Jesus Christ.